didn't die... yet!

So, what happened then at that presentation???

I practised and practised and practised… “My name is Christina, I worked in Brussels for 5.5 year, and I’ve been working here for a bit more than 2 months in Financial and Logistic Services” - Easy. Easy-easy-easy…Yeah right!

“And now introducing the new colleagues! Christina, you’re up first!”
‘typical! Just super damn typical! The first one… What do I do?? Oh, damn, no one told me if I had to stand up or sit down while doing this?? I don’t wanna stand up, then EVERY one will be able to see the sweat! …Christina, do something, they’re waiting!’
All of the sudden standing up, looking down at my legs who just moved to straight position without the brain giving any order….WTF??? ‘Stop starring at your legs…look at the people. They look at you…’
“Uhm…hi!”
Good start! You go girl, you can do this!
“My name is Christina”
…or at least I’m pretty convinced about that… Hmmm….Oh…my name is Christina? Right?? Uff, what’s happening with the people??? Look at them! They kinda start looking like some white jellyfishy creatures with no heads, this is crazy, look at someone you know. Ow! Ulrikke! Ah lovely, she smiles. Hmm…white does suit her..
“Most of you, well of the secretaries, must know me about now, he he”
That’s not funny, don’t practise wanna-be jokes, no one’s interested – if they can hear anything at all with those heads melted all over the floor?? He he. Jeez, you’re sad.
“I’m…”
Good.. Continue.
“been in Brussels for 5.5 year, and-eh…”
I’m been!??? Is that the best of this low bull you’re already saying??? - Uh! What happened then actually?? What did I do, when did I do…what? Huh!? When did I do what? FOCUS you…ARGH! …’it’s hard when you annoy yourself…’…stop singing Pink-songs!!!
“an...I…m here now…wor-ing with missions!”
Mumbling, you’re mumbling! What happened to K??? And missions??? You’re not working with missions!!! You work with meetings!!!
(at this point I started to feel that if I didn’t sit down soon, I would be seriously pissed off enough with myself I would slap myself!!)
“Meetings! Sorry, I meant I work with meetings”
….Grrrrr….round it up, or whatever, just finish. NOW! And get your arse back in that seat!
“And-eh, I’m really looking forward to be working here. Well, I mean, uhm, I like already to be working here, he he”
SIT DOWN NOOOOOW!
Bump! And my arse was well-placed back in the security-seat, I fastened the seat-belt and promised myself that I would NEVER get up again – even if my brain would send secret messages to my legs…

Following my heart started double-beating, I couldn’t see much, my hands were very shaky – a very…new experience! My colleagues turned around whispering “Very well Christina! You did really good!” I felt a bit like I’d been taking my first steps and mommy and daddy would turn around and be so proud! I couldn’t figure if I was actually happy about what they said, or if I’m – cos of my age too – should have been annoyed with the ‘patting on the head’ - But I was happy, it was over, and everything else didn’t matter…

Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep……breath…………Barcelona. Barcelona-Barcelona-Barcelona...

(thou already sunburned! "No dear colleague, you're very right, Barcelona is only tomorrow, I just have to learn NOT to go to the sunbed some days before... A-ha, I know, I'm pretty burned. Yes, it hurts wearing clothes. Uh-huh, sitting in a chair hurts too. Laying down hurts. Yep, feels just like 10 days on a beach with a killer-sun... Fun, huh? Just what I thought too - ah, yeah, despite for the pain that is - HE. HE" You..... f%*£"!k....

SIGH

SIGH-SIGH-SIGH

Presenting our new colleague! Mizz Shaky!

Whooooooaaaaaaaaarh!!! Anything else in the world than this!!!
Noooooh! I so HATE it! It’s horrifying, it’s silly, it’s TOTALLY contradictory to my personality, I sweat, I stare, I shiver, every second heart-beat is double, sweaty cold hands, confused butterflies in my stomach makes me almost wanna throw up, I HATE THIS!! I DON’T WANNA DO THIS!!! I seriously thought I was escaping it, I seriously thought it was over, - and I even manage to feel relieved meanwhile as I was convinced it was forgotten! But noooooooh! ARGH! I can’t stand up and say “Hi I’m Christina, I’m Danish, I worked in Brussels for almost 6 years, and now I’m here working since 2 months dealing with this and that…”. In front of 200 people!!! WAAAAAAAH, MOMMY MAKE THE THUNDER STOP!!!
...Just received this e-mail about the Staff meeting, and point 1 on the agenda is “Presentation of new staff”, presented by the individuals themselves. WARGH!!! But, heh. He-he in fact... the other newbie who started same time as me, stood up immediately from his desk, I assumed just when he read the e-mail too (his office is just across the yard). He looked a bit terrified too. I’m sure he looked very terrified actually. Biting nails a sign no? I don’t really care what others would think about this, but I’m DAMN glad I’m not the only one..! I hope he’s really shaky actually. Just like me. Shaky, shaky, shaky - he can’t manage, na-na-na-na-na-naaaaah-NA! See, that’s what one of the things this whole ‘can I have your attention please’ does to me, it wakes up the little child inside, usually a stupid little child. “You aaaare stupid, na-na-na-na-naaaaaa-na”. Or, as it just did when writing ‘...your attention please’, I’ll be rapping instead, just like Slim Shady! “Yo-yo-yo People of EEA!!! Whaaasup?! I’m Chri-chri-chri-Christina! And I’m here to help ya, when ever you have a meeting, I’m the one you need then! Yeah, ch-ch-ch-check it out! But don’t be too loud, cos the boss is my neighbour, and can hear everything we say, yeah..” ..or, perhaps not then.
Special Agent Mizz Chrizz looking for a saviour - I'll put an add on Xpat. Or, just need some one that just looks like me. Aaah, I know. I’ll pretend they’ll be wearing big drippin red noses, big ears with punk peircings, grey hair with pink stripes in it and very fluffy eyebrows! NAKED! Hahaha...! Imagine that! No, see, I’ll crack up laughing instead – imagination works too well... Oh! “Hey guys! Just saw Carmen Electra down on the square! ...Hmm? Ok, Linda Loveless?? Pamela???? Anybody???”

How’s that breathing-technique again?...